I can't believe I write a new year wish list?

 I was actually reading Kafka's letters to Felicia, specifically the one's he wrote in December 31 1912 to January 1 1913, cause it's new year's eve. He said it was 8 when he wrote it, he didn't have any motivation to dress up and go out celebrating new years because guess what, even in 1912 people had had enough about life and in Kafka's case, yearning. He felt lonely and lost and so do I in 2025. Don't we all.

So before everything else, Happy new year everyone.

I was actually feeling conflicted and kind of ashamed about writing new year's resolution since I honestly believe it's nothing but a stupid tradition but at the same time this type of stupid little things are what makes us alive. So, here goes nothing.

We're gonna get a job this year I just can feel it. That or a scholarship because I've been dying to go back to school. Or perhaps both we never know. We're gonna apply blindly carelessly like if it takes a million times then so be it. I've been to the lowest point of my life I think I can handle it all. Also, compare to other people I  have way better backups. I don't have to worry about financial distress or how am I gonna survive so I think the mantra for the next fighting season should be we're gonna take what we can get but also we need to consider the consequences and the benefits. I need to be braver and less procrastinating.

We're also gonna finish that new CV I've been avoiding them for weeks now. Got the dummy, got the example but I still feel down and ashamed of my CV it looks empty. I need to dust off my yapping skills we're gonna yap and when you're looking for who can yap the most you need not to look no further.

Also if we're really considering that whole scholarship thing we need to start learning for IELTS or TOEFL like right now like you read this and you can see why I need it.

I promise I'll be more serious at dancing. I know this sounds like it came out of nowhere but God I've been saving all these dancing reels and posts on Instagram and Tiktok and I never really practice them, until literally this morning.

Another niche interest that I want to master, I want to learn ball juggling so we're gonna need a juggling ball set.

I also promise myself to finally buy a harmonica this year. I was gonna write the ifs, you know the budget or is it even really a priority but the thing is it will never be a priority if I don't decide it to be one. They're loud as hell that's for sure so I don't know where I'm gonna be when I get one but remind me to warn everyone around. Also a Kashaka shaker I immediately fell in love the first time I heard how it sounds. Besides those two, obviously I'm gonna make sure I'm getting better at my ukulele which by the way, I am since that's the only thing I do when I'm really bored.

I promise myself to be more serious on learning languages. We're getting that Korean work book and that HSK preparation book. This is also a no ifs case. I'm actually picking up some new sign language new words so I'll make sure to hone my skill even further on that one. I think it's time to also finish my Arabic course I left them unread for a whole year so that one's definitely on me (I paid them too which only makes it even worse). And we're not sure yet how but we definitely start learning Spanish this year too.

Driving lesson was part of the big thing in 2025 but until yesterday I still haven't got my license so that one is also a priority especially if we want a road trip to happen this year I need to be the one driving.

Also all the courses that I leave unread/untouched we're gonna finish them all this year. Certificates babes! We need them in this stupid hustle culture decaying phase of capitalism century.

I think swimming is also gonna be one I'm not sure how but I really want to learn to swim better and relying on my lame wacko breast stroke wouldn't be enough. At least we can do freestyle and increase my endurance so that's definitely the goal since even with breast stroke I can't finish half a lap without panting or shitting myself. Swimming is another level of workout guys this is serious. We're also gonna buy that swimming kickboard I think I need it.

Speaking about workout and sports since I've watched a lot of sports these past few months I think I'm also gonna go back to badminton and perhaps volleyball again I'm not sure how but I just really want to play like watching basketball, volleyball, badminton tennis or tennis table is not enough I need to play them which also means I need to learn some of them first before playing it like I can't play ping pong.

Also yoga, I've tried it once and my good friend was the instructor at that time and it was actually kind of good. I think I need to learn basic moves like the downward facing dog or whatever or the plank, the tree low lunge lunging I don't know really just to increase and keep my flexibility.

I also think 2026 is a good year to finally get a gym membership. Also a more consistent workout, especially running since I was doing really great on July but I lost all interest and I've been lacking ever since.

That being said I also really want to finally try calisthenics. 2026 is the year I have a great feeling.

We're gonna fix that damn bike, if not tomorrow morning then I don't know probably on Friday the bike shop is probably closed. Yes, I finally got a bike (well the ownership is not mine we kind of share it but I'm the only one using it so) the bank sort of gave it to my dad as a present for being a loyal costumer so he gave it to me. It's a standard MTB local brand probably worth less than 2 million, kind of cheap so only few weeks since I've been using them the pedals and the saddles went all loose, and the chains too. The point is we're gonna fix it.

The drawing and sketching is going really well, I haven't been doing it as much as I wish but I'm getting slightly better. I'm probably buying crayons because I'm also learning color theory and the whole tutorials on Instagram and Tiktok look like it's best to start with crayons.

I also asked my sister few weeks ago about the gift she sent me years ago. It was an embroidery beginner's kit and I think I'd love to get back to this embroidery/crocheting/knitting stuff. Not sure which one's I'm gonna choose cause I know one of my good friends from college is actually a good crocheter so I'm probably gonna ask her about this stuff.

I'm also finally gonna use my new passport this year. I still don't know how and where am I gonna get all the budget needed but I have a strong feeling we're finally gonna use it.

It's been a while since the last time I went to Lake Toba so I'm going there this year. I don't know in what occasion or with whom but I've been saying it throughout these past few years so we're totally going this year.

2025 was the first year where I didn't go to Bandung at least once in a year so we're gonna make sure this tradition comes back in 2026. I love Bandung so much and I can sense that I'm gonna go back there with all my family but we're gonna talk about that later on different times.

Dude 2025 was so bad I didn't even get any call back from any editorial desk. None of my writings/opinions got published so like I've been on strike since 2022 but 2025 was the unluckiest of them all. We're gonna change this one too within weeks and I'm making sure of that. Also, we're gonna join all the open call for submissions and shit. Like I need to remember this has been the lowest point of my life like I can totally handle a hundred more rejections. No doubt about it.

I also don't know which martial arts but I'm definitely gonna join one. I'm considering going back to taekwondo since I've got the uniform from previous lesson but then Judo sounds fun and I've seen most of the students are grown-ups so we're definitely considering that.

This is short and obvious in its own but I'm definitely going back posting on my book review IG page.

I'm also gonna read those photography books I've downloaded. Another basic interest I've picked up when I got my new phone, a mid range Redmi Xiaomi phone not too shabby, and also considering buying a new secondhand camera as well. But smartphone photography first since the camera is actually not that bad.

Speaking of picking up new basic hobbies, I've also been interested in rollerblading and ice skating and also skateboarding. All of them are expensive so obviously I'm gonna pick one and I've been looking for skateboarding price and all the dos and don'ts. It is actually advised no to get one of those decks you see on the bookstores. They might be cheap but they're kind of not safe to use when you want to learn some tricks so better go to your local skateboard shop and get yourself the full set. Also the ice skating one is really expensive like the tickets and everything and that still wearing the rented gears so I don't know about that one. This one is so long because of all stuff listed here this might be the one that I think I can only do later on this year after all done.

That being said I probably should read more books, kind of wish there's a book club about every niche topic I'm interested in, also the one's that not filled with snobby middle class folks that shame everyone that pirate their books. Books are expensive and knowledge should be free. 

I think I'm gonna call or chat my friends more time passes as we speak or sleep might as well talk to them and make sure they're ok.

Also speaking of making sure I also need to make sure I'm ok first so we need to go back to psychiatrist I didn't even pick my last prescription and it was almost a year ago.

I need to watch more movies like the watchlist is getting longer at this point and I'm kind of sad that I lost the joy of watching movies for a while. 

Attending protests more and donate to mutual aid even more. I'm also considering joining a union or any organization but I still doubt the safety or my anonymity being threatened but I definitely got some lists of organizations or unions.

Not totally stop curating playlist but since we unsubscribe Spotify then I'm still trying to figure out how to still enjoy my lifelong hobby of listening to music without sending money to funding weapon infrastructure. 

I really hope at least I stay as principled as I am now or even more principled than I am now that would've been better.

So, the list is long and it will probably keep growing, decreasing or need some adjustments. I started writing this with a heavy heart and now that I think I finished listing all the wishes, I feel quite better. So, happy new year everyone, I truly hope we live in a world that keeps changing for the better.