I was reading Kafka's letters to Felicia, specifically the one's he wrote in December 31 1912 to January 1 1913, cause it's new year's eve. He said it was 8 when he wrote it, he didn't have any motivation to dress up and go out celebrating new years because guess what, even in 1912 people had had enough about life and in Kafka's case, yearning. He felt lonely and lost and so do I in 2025. Don't we all. So I felt the sudden urge to perhaps lighten up the mood a little and list all the things I'm positively sure I can achieve this new year.
But before anything else, Happy new year everyone!
I was actually feeling conflicted and kind of ashamed about writing new year's resolution since I was made to believe that it's nothing but a stupid tradition but at the same time this type of stupid little things that makes life a little less miserable. So, here goes nothing.
We're gonna get a job this year I just can feel it. That or a scholarship because I've been dying to go back to school. Or perhaps both we never know. We're gonna apply blindly carelessly like if it takes a million times then so be it. I've been to the lowest point of my life I think I can handle it all. Also, compare to other people I have way better backups. I don't have to worry about financial distress or how am I gonna survive so I think the mantra for the next fighting season should be we're gonna take what we can get but also we need to consider the consequences and the benefits. I need to be braver and less procrastinating. But also I need to blame all of this on capitalism and my government lies of their inability to provide jobs. The job market is literally insane I need to remind myself and everyone don't blame yourself too much.
Also if we're really considering that whole scholarship thing we need to start learning for IELTS or TOEFL like right now like you read this and you can see why I need it, although I hate the fact that they only last for two years and they're so expensive like this is literally colonialism I couldn't care less about English fluency certification if it's not for the education and jobs.
I promise I'll be more serious at dancing. I know this sounds like it came out of nowhere but God I've been saving all these dancing reels and posts on Instagram and Tiktok and I never really practice them, until literally this morning. After I told you that my first wish this new year is to get a job, I have to immediately counter the misery out of that wish by inserting some of the materially insignificant to this wealth hoarding system called capitalism.
Another niche interest that I want to master is ball juggling. So, we're gonna need a juggling ball set. A whimsical act of defiance against capitalism since it brings nothing to the system but enrich your soul. Also a good entertainment during family gathering I think my local stationery store got them. Another one that might be good for my soul.
I also promise myself to finally buy a harmonica this year. I was gonna write the ifs, you know the budget or is it even really a priority but the thing is it will never be a priority if I don't decide it to be one. They're loud as hell that's for sure so I don't know where I'm gonna be when I get one but remind me to warn everyone around. Also a Kashaka shaker I immediately fell in love the first time I heard how it sounds. Besides those two, obviously I'm gonna make sure I'm getting better at my ukulele which by the way, I am since that's the only thing I do when I'm really bored and this has been proved to be good for my well-being.
I promise myself to be more serious on learning languages. We're getting that Korean work book and that HSK preparation book. This is also a no ifs case. I'm actually picking up some new sign language new words so I'll make sure to hone my skill even further on that one. I think it's time to also finish my Arabic course I left them unread for a whole year so that one's definitely on me (I paid them too which only makes it even worse). And we're not sure yet how but we definitely start learning Spanish this year too. I can't wait to read papers and books in these languages when I'm good enough and obviously to communicate with even more people.
Driving lesson was part of the big thing in 2025 but until yesterday I still haven't got my license so that one is also a priority especially if we want a road trip to happen this year I need to be the one driving.
Also all the courses that I leave unread/untouched we're gonna finish them all this year. Obviously for the sake of learning but also the certificates babes! We need them in this stupid hustle culture decaying phase of capitalism century like for them it's all on papers instead of your presence and your humanity. Remember it's not to conform, but to survive.
I think swimming is also gonna be one I'm not sure how but I really want to learn to swim better and relying on my lame wacko breast stroke wouldn't be enough. At least we can do freestyle and increase my endurance so that's definitely the goal since even with breast stroke I can't finish half a lap without panting or shitting myself. Swimming is another level of workout guys this is serious. We're also gonna buy that swimming kickboard I think I need it. The world is sinking so better be prepared.
Speaking about workout and sports since I've watched a lot of sports these past few months I think I'm also gonna go back to badminton and perhaps volleyball again I'm not sure how but I just really want to play like watching basketball, volleyball, badminton tennis or tennis table is not enough I need to play them which also means I need to learn some of them first before playing it like I can't play ping pong. Capitalism requires you too be its forever servant, sacrificing your time and energy to just barely survive. So we're gonna sacrifice our time to learn some ping pong instead, just to spite capitalism.
Also yoga, I've tried it once and my good friend was the instructor at that time and it was actually kind of good. I think I need to learn basic moves like the downward facing dog or whatever or the plank, the tree low lunge lunging I don't know really just to increase and keep my flexibility. I also think we need to make yoga more proletariat since some of these membership and class prices are literally not affordable for most Indonesians so I hope someone open a free class like one of those free Zumba classes on every Sunday morning.
I also think 2026 is a good year to finally get a gym membership. Also a more consistent workout, especially running since I was doing really great on July but I lost all interest and I've been lacking ever since. Those Andrew Tate wannabe gym bros need to be humbled. Also what makes going to gym equals to being a life coach and suddenly get philosophical and stoic? It doesn't make any sense.
That being said I also really want to finally try calisthenics. 2026 is the year I have a great feeling.We're gonna fix that damn bike, if not tomorrow morning then I don't know probably on Friday the bike shop is probably closed. Yes, I finally got a bike (well the ownership is not mine we kind of share it but I'm the only one using it so) the bank sort of gave it to my dad as a present for being a loyal costumer so he gave it to me. It's a standard MTB local brand probably worth less than 2 million, kind of cheap so only few weeks since I've been using them the pedals and the saddles went all loose, and the chains too. The point is we're gonna fix it. Just like walking and running, I think riding a bike especially in cities and towns that are made for cars and motorcycles is kind of a rebellious act.
The drawing and sketching is going really well, I haven't been doing it as much as I wish but I'm getting slightly better. I'm probably buying crayons because I'm also learning color theory and the whole tutorials on Instagram and Tiktok look like it's best to start with crayons/oil-based paint. Another dilly-dally activity amidst the hustling and bustling world.
I also asked my sister few weeks ago about the gift she sent me years ago. It was an embroidery beginner's kit and I think I'd love to get back to this embroidery/crocheting/knitting stuff. Not sure which one's I'm gonna choose cause I know one of my good friends from college is actually a good crocheter so I'm probably gonna ask her about this stuff. They said it's relaxing and you can always give them as presents to your loved ones. I think they're way more sentimental and invoke more communal/familial sense. I don't know if that's the right expression but you know what I mean.
I'm also finally gonna use my new passport this year. I still don't know how or where I'm gonna go and where am I gonna get all the budget needed but I have a strong feeling we're finally gonna use it. I said I don't know where I'm gonna go but I'm totally sure it's gonna be Southeast Asia trip with me taking train from Malaysia to Thailand, or Vietnam. Anywhere close first, or anywhere global south basically.
It's been a while since the last time I went to Lake Toba so I'm going there this year. I don't know in what occasion or with whom but I've been saying it throughout these past few years so we're totally going this year. Especially before it faces the same fate as Bali.
2025 was the first year where I didn't go to Bandung at least once in a year so we're gonna make sure this tradition comes back in 2026. I love Bandung so much and I can sense that I'm gonna go back there with all my family but we're gonna talk about that later on different times (she's engaged). Might also finally try those Pangandaran banana boat and surfing lessons but the waves are too high so probably not.
Dude 2025 was so bad I didn't even get any call back from any editorial desk. None of my writings/opinions got published so like I've been on strike since 2022 but 2025 was the unluckiest of them all. We're gonna change this one too within weeks and I'm making sure of that. Also, we're gonna join all the open call for submissions and shit. Like I need to remember this has been the lowest point of my life like I can totally handle a hundred more rejections. No doubt about it. Also, I mostly write op-eds about politics but if I can and somebody finally hire me to do live report I'll do it in a heartbeat. We're reporting disaster relief corruption? Count me in. Years pass by and I still want to be a journalist, the one with livable wage and unions obviously.
I also don't know which martial arts but I'm definitely gonna join one. I'm considering going back to taekwondo since I've got the uniform from previous lesson but then Judo sounds fun and I've seen most of the students are grown-ups so we're definitely considering that. We need to stay fit and ready to fight since fascism is on the rise.
This is short and obvious in its own but I'm definitely going back posting on my book review IG page. We're going to live up our existence's goals in this world: to read, to write, and to teach. Although this is just basically me making a carousel of summary of books I've read.
I'm also gonna read those photography books I've downloaded. Another basic new interest I've picked up when I got my new phone, a mid range Redmi Xiaomi phone not too shabby, and also considering buying a new secondhand camera as well. But smartphone photography first since the camera is actually not that bad. I try to buy secondhand obviously since they're cheaper but also any new electronic equipment contributes to the genocide in Congo. I was considering buying a secondhand phone after the last one broke but since smartphones have this security updates thing it's kind of unsafe to use the old ones since they'll expire within like a year or two.
Speaking of picking up new basic hobbies, I've also been interested in rollerblading and ice skating and also skateboarding. All of them are expensive so obviously I'm gonna pick one and I've been looking for skateboarding price and all the dos and don'ts. It is actually advised no to get one of those decks you see on the bookstores. They might be cheap but they're kind of not safe to use when you want to learn some tricks so better go to your local skateboard shop and get yourself the full set. Also the ice skating one is really expensive like the tickets and everything and that still wearing the rented gears so I don't know about that one. This one is so long because of all stuff listed here this might be the one that I think I can only do later on this year after all done. Again, in another attempt to upset this materially demanding world I think I need to just spend my time skateboarding. Also, I heard the sense of community is tight in skateboarding community so that's part of the reason.
That being said I probably should read more books, kind of wish there's a book club about every niche topic I'm interested in, also the one's that not filled with snobby middle class folks that shame everyone that pirate their books. Books are expensive and knowledge should be free.
I think I'm gonna call or chat my friends more time passes as we speak or sleep might as well talk to them and make sure they're ok. Alienation is not a joke, community is the solution.
Also speaking of making sure I also need to make sure I'm ok first so we need to go back to psychiatrist I didn't even pick my last prescription and it was almost a year ago. Never let burnout catch you.
I need to watch more movies and shows like the watchlist is getting longer at this point and I'm kind of sad that I lost the joy of watching movies for a while. Remember: free time, leisure, and doing what you love without thinking about the material consequences of it is hustle culture biggest enemy, and hustle culture is the latest product of capitalism.
Attending protests more and donate to mutual aid even more. I never think of all I did from donation to protesting to reporting to even signing petition is enough. They'll never be enough and I felt quite desperate sometimes because it felt so impossible when we're so disorganized facing a system that was never made for us. But then the solution is to be more organized, to be more informed and to inform others. So that's why I promise to go back doing more book reviews and more writing, even on my own blogs which I often times ashamed of doing. I'm also considering joining a union or any progressive organization and lending any of my skills though I still doubt the safety or my anonymity being threatened but I definitely got some lists of organizations or unions and I'm sure I'm always in good hands.
Not totally stop curating playlist but since we unsubscribe Spotify but I'm still trying to figure out how to still enjoy my lifelong hobby of listening to music without sending money to funding weapon infrastructure. So I'm actually considering whether I just go back burning CDs like when I was in 7th grade or it's just downloading and Bluetooth or perhaps we can find a more morally correct streaming platform or just go to Anna's archive. It might be new year but I'm still gonna support any archiving effort be it pirating, copying and sharing, you name it. Just like books and knowledge, art should be for everyone.
With all those little innuendos of anti-capitalist/left wing/socialism messages at some of my wishes I really hope at least I stay as principled as I am now or even more principled than I am now that would've been better.
I know the previous ones sound like plans instead of wishes so I guess it wouldn't hurt anyone if I add some true wishes from the bottom of my heart. And obviously as this is the third times we're celebrating new years while Gaza is suffering from genocide, I truly wish the genocide to stop. I wish the colonization will end this year. I wish the genocide in Sudan would stop and the starved Sudanese will finally get warm meals this year. I wish the wounded children of Congo languishing in mining sites can finally go back to school and go home to their bed. I wish my people here in Indonesia, especially here in Sumatra who are still suffering from the flood and our government policy disaster can demand justice and heal. I wish Papuan women weeping over their razed lands can get their justice as well. And after all these years, I still wish liberation to all the oppressed and colonized people.
So, the list is long and it will probably keep growing, decreasing or need some adjustments. I started writing this with a heavy heart and now that I think I finished listing all the wishes, now I feel quite better knowing despite all the sadness I can always be reminded how lucky I am to even have the chance to wish.
So, happy new year everyone, I truly hope we live in a world that keeps on changing for the better.
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