At this point update terbaru akan selalu berjudul "life's been so far" karena emang ini udah fix diary online aing, sih. Gaada lagi upload konten sok iye analisis sosial politik hubungan internasional di sini karena semua udah dipindah ke medium dan mungkin substack. Tapi kenapa kita bahas ini? So... How's life been so far?
Well, first it's definitely been a while. Still depressed, but now at least I'm home. I got 8th place nationally pas seleksi gawean, tapi kocaknya tes bahasa inggris, which I was so sure of that I could crush like you know, english is that easy, tapi koneksi by.U jelek tiba-tiba ilang trus laptop aing error gabisa koneksi ke internet juga trus bolak-balik restart sampe gabisa nyala trus.... you probably figured the rest of the story. That, funnily enough, got me even more depressed karena kaya menyia-nyiakan kesempatan di tengah-tengah job market Indonesia yang jelek dan pengangguran di mana-mana.
But anyway. I ran, A LOT. akhirnya kaya setelah sekian lama lari 3km tapi rutin bisa balik lari 5k dan kinda hit my PR too, kaya 39 menit dan selama 39 menit itu 20 menit pertama I constantly ran. So, that was an achievement. Besides that, I learn more about ukulele, jadi belajar chords, fret chords, belajar diatonic scale, and I think this is my best ukulele skill yet kaya plucking juga makin biasa. I don't know I've got to much free time. Trus I got a new laptop akhirnya dikarenakan incident seleksi kerjaan itu, it's a Huawei matebook this time. I'm liking it so far.
Kabar terbaik mungkin I started to sketch and draw and DUDE it's been amazing so far. Kaya belajar shading trus one point perspective, two point perspective, sama kaya belajar anatomi dasar lah. Tangan dan jari si terutama. Thanks to Mr. DIY semua alat kaya pensil sketsa mulai dari 5H sampe 5B ada, trus sama simple basic coloring pencil yang varian warnanya ga terlalu banyak tapi covered the basics so that's enough for beginners. Unsolicited advice from beginner kaya emang paling bener sebelum belajar warna dan eventually teori warna dkk, yang pertama emang harus belajar sketsa dan gambar kaya proporsi terus rule of thirds biar proporsi gambar juga enak dilihat. I'm still learning these stuff so perhaps in future "life's been so far" mungkin portfolio gambar juga disertakan.
Travelling kinda limited, kaya museum hopping juga tidak memungkinkan di pulau Sumatera ini. But I've visited some museums in Medan. Medan right now kind of acts as my getaway place. Jadi kapan ada kesempatan ke Medan kaya kemaren bareng uda Iwan dua kali terus pas beli laptop and making sure in each of those visits I at least meet Arip karena doi sekarang udah dapet gawean di Medan.
Ini juga kaya tulisan pertama, in a way, setelah sekian lama urang kehilangan motivasi buat nulis lagi. Kaya bayangin dari sekian banyak publikasi yang lolos meja editor di tahun lalu tahun ini per-bulan Agustus masih 0 publications writings or any kind. Not even on my personal platform. It's been shitty so far kaya ga ada motivasi buat nulis, semua stuck di draft ga bisa dilanjutin juga meskipun konsep, outline, ide besar itu banyak banget. As of writing this urang baru ngirim dua puisi ke kalamsastra, platform online yang menerima karya dan kritik sastra yang basisnya di Salihara. If my submission got accepted I probably will post them here too. I don't know there isn't much to tell. Kaya bingung sama mau kerja di mana karena semuanya stuck gaada panggilan balik kalaupun ada cuma sampai HR interview kaya dua minggu lalu (first interview after quite a while).
Perhaps it's also because of the ongoing livestreamed genocide juga yang kaya every celebration feels wrong and I know it's affecting anyone's mental health (I really hope it does) tapi kaya ngeluh it's affecting our "mental health" meanwhile it's literally killing Palestinians as we're speaking feels so tonedeaf and out of place. Kaya this is perhaps sort of my motivation to bounce back and doing everything I can. Kaya kemaren sebelum bulan Ramadan for two months sampe sebelum lebaran I've got selected to join reading book club temanya "Queer Palestine". Buku-bukunya ya seputar kempleksitas gender dan hubungannya dalam konteksn kolonialisme di Palestina, termasuk pinkwashing Israel, perjuangan dan peran Perempuan, sampai analisis media dan subtle Israeli propaganda masquareding as safe haven for queer people among the savages Arabs and muslims kaya you get the point, lah. Definitely highlight of the year karena ketemua orang-orang baru yang sama sekali belum pernah kenalan dan bertemu. Terus, eye-opening sama jadi ada dalih buat nyelesain buku-buku (ada 8 one each week).
If I somehow miss any new updates I promise you (well I'm probably the only one reading this) that those missed stories will be told in future "life's been so far".
It's currently raining, here's the view of me writing this:
From some cafe in hometown, I'll see you next time.
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