try wrapping my head around participating in three events

I'm not sure if I should withdraw from one event in particular, I'm not even planning to. What the... 

Okay. So, late April before I got hospitalized I finally received information that my conference application in Japan (although it takes place virtually) got accepted, which made me super happy at that time knowing my previous chance in Singapore got cancelled because of pandemic. But, in early June I got news that event got rescheduled and they asked me my address to send the souvenir. I thought it will be manageable since table reading my Japan conference will take place once at the end of every month from May to July and exchange events in the middle of every month and hectic time will be in the middle to third week of August, whereas the Singapore one will be held in July. But not only that, somehow impulsively I decided to apply another type of event (which at this point I guess my brain stopped working) and also got accepted, this one will also be held online and I also need to work on different time zones (and this is even more extreme). But I guess the last one was kind of easier since I think they decided to accept quite number of applicants. This is not what I expected based on my experiences applying different type of nonsense in the past years, I either got rejected (most of the times) or I decided to withdraw since I didn't have the courage to proceed my application. I even remember I had to record myself talking in front of the camera since the application required me to make a self introduction type of thing, those were all indeed grotesque if I'm not being too much. I even remember to submit my writings to a shady competition just to get myself an experience, which also failed miserably and even further hindering my confidence seeing my friends got selected in various events and succeeded to win national level competition. Even though all of these conferences are not as popular as other well known events, I can't thank myself enough for finally being brave to take a chance, and I absolutely can't thank Allah enough despite my head will definitely try to recover for endless sleep deprived all the time. That's worth the experience I guess.

P.S. : I'm still struggling with my internship applications though :)

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